The Girl And Her God: Throne Check

Even though Jerk Face no longer has the right to the throne, it still keeps trying to climb back onto it.

That old nature may be dead, but it’s stubborn… and a little tricky.

Knowing who Jerk Face was didn’t automatically keep it off the throne.

I still needed to learn how to recognize it—and what to do when it showed up.

As I kept reading, I realized the first step wasn’t changing my behavior.

It was learning to recognize when Jerk Face was trying to take over.

Over time, I started noticing that Jerk Face has predictable tells.

It doesn’t usually announce that it’s trying to take over.

Instead, it quietly shows up in little ways.

I become more focused on what I want than what I already have.

I get aggravated when things don’t go my way.

I become jealous, anxious, defensive, or overly concerned with what people think of me.

Sometimes I even catch myself explaining away my own behavior.

Those moments became clues that what I was feeling wasn’t the real issue. Something was happening beneath the surface.

Jerk Face was reaching for the throne again.

The more I studied, the more I realized that almost every battle Jerk Face brought into my life traced back to three simple questions:

Who rules?

What do I want?

Why do I want it?

To help myself answer those questions honestly, I turned them into a simple Throne Check that I could walk through whenever I noticed Jerk Face trying to reclaim the throne.

1. Who is on the throne?

(Authority)

• Who gets the final say?
• Am I submitting to Christ or ruling myself?

This question reveals who is really in charge.

2. What am I pursuing?

(Desires and ambitions)

• What outcome do I want?
• What am I trying to gain, keep, avoid, or protect?

This question uncovers the object of my desire.

3. Why am I pursuing it?

(Motives)

• Why do I want this?
• What part of me is driving this?

This question exposes the heart behind my desire.

4. What part of me is trying to stay on the throne?

• Pride
• Comfort
• Control
• Fear
• Recognition
• Security
• Revenge
• Self-protection
• Independence
• Approval

This question identifies the specific expression of self-rule.

5. How will I respond if I don’t get what I want?

• Will I become angry?
• Will I manipulate?
• Will I withdraw?
• Will I retaliate?
• Will I cling tighter?
• Or will I trust God and obey?

This question reveals whether Christ truly rules when obedience costs me something.

Training New Responses

Once I knew how to recognize when Jerk Face was trying to reclaim the throne, my next question became:

How do I keep it from getting there?

As I continued studying, I discovered that recognizing the problem wasn’t enough.

If I wanted to kick the old out, I had to replace it with something new.

Otherwise, Jerk Face would just keep showing up to reclaim the spot I had left empty.

One principle that really stood out to me was the idea of replacement.

Instead of simply trying to stop selfish habits, I needed to intentionally replace them with Christlike ones.

Instead of dwelling on myself, I could serve someone else.

Instead of feeding my old desires, I could feed my relationship with Christ.

Another idea that challenged me was practicing something I read about called micro-crucifixions.

It suggested saying no to small, non-harmful things—not because those things were wrong, but simply to remind Jerk Face who is in control now.

If I can’t say no to a small desire, why would I expect to say no when obedience to Christ costs me something much greater?

I also started paying closer attention to my thoughts whenever those familiar feelings began to rise up.

When I noticed…

Jealousy…

Defensiveness…

Anxiety…

The need to be right…

Or the desire to control the outcome…

Instead of simply reacting, I tried to stop and ask,

“What is Jerk Face trying to accomplish right now?”

That gave me the opportunity to take those thoughts captive before they took me captive.

I know this is going to be a long process.

But now I feel like I have some weapons to take into the battle each day.

More importantly, I’ve realized those weapons aren’t enough on their own.

The greatest help I have isn’t my understanding, my habits, or even this guide.

It’s the Holy Spirit.

I can’t change Jerk Face’s natural tendencies by my own effort.

Only God can do that.

So I’ll keep studying.

I’ll keep paying attention.

I’ll keep practicing.

But I’ll never mistake those things for the source of my transformation.

That’s the Holy Spirit’s work.