How Loving God Changes the Way We Love People

Jesus was once asked what the greatest commandment is.

His answer was simple:

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”

“The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Mark 12:30-31

For a long time, I thought of those as two separate commands.

Love God.

Love people.

But the more I have studied Scripture, the more I have come to see that they are deeply connected.

Jesus did not present them as unrelated responsibilities.

The second flows from the first.

The way we love people is directly connected to what rules our hearts.

What Happens When God Is in His Rightful Place?

When God is in His rightful place, something begins to change inside of us.

We stop asking people to provide things they were never meant to provide.

We no longer need them to give us our worth.

We no longer need them to constantly agree with us.

We no longer need to control them.

We no longer need to win every argument.

We no longer need their approval in order to feel secure.

Why?

Because those needs are being met by God.

The more we understand who He is and what He says about us, the less we depend on other people to fill those places in our hearts.

Why We Often Struggle to Love Others

Many of the ways we fail to love people come from trying to get from them something only God can provide.

If I need you to make me feel valuable, I will use you.

If I need you to make me feel secure, I will cling to you.

If I need you to make me feel important, I will compete with you.

If I need you to make me happy, I will become frustrated when you fail me.

When people become the source of what only God can provide, relationships begin carrying a weight they were never designed to carry.

Eventually, they break under it.

The Heart Is the Real Issue

Scripture teaches that what controls the heart shapes our behavior.

The heart is the source of our thoughts, desires, motivations, words, and actions.

What rules the heart eventually reveals itself in the way we treat other people.

When self is on the throne:

• pride grows
• selfishness grows
• resentment grows
• relationships suffer

But when God is on the throne:

• love grows
• patience grows
• kindness grows
• forgiveness grows

The change begins at the center.

Love Is a Fruit, Not a Performance

This is one reason Scripture describes love as part of the fruit of the Spirit.

Fruit is not something we manufacture.

It is something that grows.

The fruit of the Spirit is not produced by trying harder to be loving.

It grows as we remain connected to Christ.

As we know Him, trust Him, and walk with Him, His character begins showing up in our lives.

The more we experience His patience, the more patient we become.

The more we experience His mercy, the more merciful we become.

The more we experience His forgiveness, the more willing we are to forgive.

We Love Because He First Loved Us

Perhaps the deepest reason loving God changes the way we love people is because it teaches us how deeply we have been loved ourselves.

It is difficult to give away something you have never received.

But when you know that you are seen, known, pursued, forgiven, and loved by God, something changes.

Love stops feeling like a burden.

It becomes an overflow.

Instead of trying to get from people what only God can provide, we become free to love them for their good rather than our own.

And that kind of love looks a lot more like Christ.